Mother– The most loving and caring human being

Some kids, when they are young, sometimes ask their parents if they loved him/her? And if they did, how much? These are fairly simple questions. However, it is difficult to quantify for parents how much they love their kids. You can’t put a number to parents’ love. So, for a kid, it is difficult to know how much love he/she is getting. However, parents do remind their kids to wait for this answer until they have their own kids. That is when; they would really know the answer to their questions.

This had happened to me too. You would think that you have stumped your parents with these questions. But once you become a parent, the whole ball game changes. That is when you find out what your parents have been through to raise you and showered you with their love, care and affection. 

When I became a parent, I tried to do my part as a father. It is a painstaking work. But when I compare my work with a mother’s, I think they beat us on all fronts, fair and square. The kind of patience and love which they have been gifted, nobody can come close that. Sometimes, it just leaves me with awe. When God wanted His people to know how much He loves them, He compared His love to a mother’s love. He said that He loves His people 70 times more than their mothers’ love them. He could have compared His affection and care for His people to a father’s love too. 

Mothers are also big institutions for learning for their kids. I remember when I was very young and used to leave me village for my education, I hardly remember my mother showing any sadness or weakness. Now, as a parent, I can understand what she would be going through at the time of my departure. But she did not show her feelings to make me weak. Now, I can understand how much she loves me and cared for me that she held her tears for me to get my education, and become a decent human being. She knew that she may not be able to see her six year old child for next three months at a stretch. 

Presently, I have heard mothers telling their husbands that they would not want to put themselves through like my mother did for me. These mothers don’t care whether their kids are educated from the best or the mediocre schools. They just don’t want to send their kids away for such a long time. I can understand what they mean. It really takes so much courage and strong heart to bare such an extended separation from the young kids. That is why I salute to my mother for her sacrifice. She could have also demanded my father to put me in a school close to home. But she wanted the best for her child.

Aitchison days - Junior School (v)

In K-1, our movement was closely watched as we were new to the school. It was also to keep us away from older boys. In K-2, there was more independence compared to K-1. We could come to the classes and go back to the boarding house without any supervision. However, there was still a limitation. We were not allowed to leave the Junior School premises in any circumstances. 

Again, the days were full of activities. I enjoyed my classes. Some boys had already developed friendships from K-1 and some were still making friends. Most boys were mischievous in nature. Some were pretty calm and cool. 

The evenings were filled with even more activities including evening games. As mentioned earlier, I enjoyed my stay in Aitchison due to availability of spacious grounds and people to play with. Some days, it was Cricket, some with Hockey and some we just hung out and did nothing. It was that care-free time.

There is a big swimming pool behind Gwyn House for Junior School. We had swimming time allocated during summer. Aitchison College is famous for its horses and riding club. But the riding does not start till class K-4. There is also Junior School canteen next to the swimming pool. It has a fruits’ section and bakery section. There is also a tailor shop adjacent to the canteen for the boys. Our clothes were normally tailored in that shop. There is a full ground for swings and slides for the kids in the Junior School. 

I think we had three full months of summer vacations in those days. The winter break was for a month in December. In those days, we were only off on Fridays. Tuesdays were the visiting days. The last weekend of the month was a long weekend and the parents were allowed to take their kids on Thursday evening to spend ore quality time with them. Then we had our spring break for a week in March right after the Founder’s Day. Plus there were some days off for Eids and other religious occasions. 

I had my boarding roommates from all over Pakistan. Some even came from abroad to study in Aitchison College. There were so many kids from Sindh, Baluchistan, Khyber Pakhtunkhawa and Kashmir. There was nobody from my hometown. But there were plenty of kids from Multan and D.G.Khan area. The day boys were from Lahore. They belonged to all kinds of family background. There were kids of businessmen, politicians, army men, bureaucrats, landlords etc. All kinds of families were represented too like Qureshi, Gardezi, Jamali, Khosa, Bhayo, Khakwani, Sukhera, Durrani, Wattoo, Chaudry, Malik, Shirani, Sindhu, etc. 

I think many of these kids were born with silver spoon and were very privileged kids. Their parents wanted the best for them in this world. No wonder they were sent to Aitchison College in their early days for studies. However, I do believe the environment in Aitchison neither promote nor discriminate on the basis of family background. A kid has to prove his talent and must work hard for it. The high ethical standards have been set decades ago. So we were all judged based on the earlier standards. 

Over my years at Aitchison, I have seen all kinds of examples like kids were being expelled for cheating, unsportsman like conduct, plagiarism, bad behavior etc. So we were all aware of these things and tried our best to be on the right side of the history. Nobody wanted to leave Aitchison for bad reasons. That’s why I think Aitchison sets itself apart from other institutions for its  high moral and ethical standards. 

To be continued....

The Learning Curve

When I was graduating in spring 2003 (May 2003), I was hoping to get an offer from my company. I got in touch with my department and other related people to seek their opinions in that regard. The internet boom was over at this time. There weren’t many jobs available and many energy related companies like Enron and other telecommunication companies had gone bankrupt. So the previous corporate enthusiasm had evaporated. Young people like me were caught in the middle and had to make suffer. I was only able to get pat on the back from my company but no offer. 

I think I was fortunate to not get any job offer or employment at this time. During my last semester, I went ahead started looking for a graduate school for my post graduate studies. I took GRE and gathered all the materials required and sent in my applications to all the perspective universities.  Finally, I decided on the University of North Carolina at Charlotte for my M.S. Electrical Engineering.

This is a great school for anybody who is interested in living and studying in one of most progressive cities and state on the east coast. Charlotte has a lot to offer for its residents. And North Carolina is a beautiful state to be in. I enjoyed every minute of my stay in this city. I was able to make great friends and developed life-long associations. Duke Energy’s headquarter is located in Charlotte too. When I was getting ready to graduate from my M.S. and looking for a job, I was able to land an interview with Duke Energy too. I thought I almost landed myself a job in this company. However, for some reasons, which I still have to discover, I couldn’t. Then again, I was contacted by my previous company who was interested in hiring me at this time. And finally, I entered into the corporate world. 

So the crux of the matter is that don’t get frustrated and beat yourself up for any failure in life. Things happen for reasons. I am glad I couldn’t get myself a job right after my graduation. If that would have happened, I may not have had a chance to get my M.S. Now, I feel more accomplished with having a job and M.S. Otherwise, I would have always said to myself that, ‘Man, I could have gone for my masters.”  

Since then, fortunately, I have been very successful in finding the jobs. Whenever I had to go for a job hunting, I have been able to receive great opportunities and offers. At times I have had so many offers that I had to decline some very lucrative opportunities. 

I know people find jobs for various reasons. But this is one thing around which our lives are revolving. We spend a lot of time on work. So an individual should always work in a job that involves passion and knowledge. When these two items are combined, the work becomes lifelong passion. That way, a person enjoys the work with all the energy for a lifetime.  

On the Job Training

I started my ‘Co-op’ in January 2001 working for a Fortune500 Power company based in Richmond, Virginia. I was working in transmission line engineering department. Evidently, my hiring manager was my department manager. ‘Co-op’ is a short of Cooperative Education. It is a little different from internship in terms of duration of work. Internship lasts only a semester or the summer vacation. Cooperative education lasts at least three semesters. Some Cooperative Education students ‘co-ops’ even stretch it to five semesters. Sometimes, it depends on how eager one is finishing the degree or working for a company a few extra semesters. 

Frankly, I was pretty nervous in the beginning. Having no previous work background at all, the corporate world was a whole new ball game for me. On the first day, I was introduced to the engineers and staff working in my department and other closely associated departments. I was provided a cubicle, a desktop, a phone and other necessary items needed for the job. Next, I was introduced to my mentor whom I was supposed to be working with. He is a very kind and hard-working gentleman. I think I could not have a better mentor. At that time, the department was going through digitizing their documentation and my mentor was working to get that work done in the quickest and most efficient way. I started working with him and at times, during his absence, I was responsible to work on it independently.

There were other co-ops from various institutions in the U.S. like Penn State, University of Wisconsin-Madison, University of Virginia, Virginia Tech and many more. The company made sure to provide us the time for interaction with each other to learn and share our experience. There were also many instances when there were exciting events planned. We also had interactions with the executives of the company. The power industry lagged in hiring and most of the employees working for the power industry were getting ready to retire. So the company wanted to keep us engaged in work and other work-related activities so we could build a strong association with the company and decide to come back after our graduations. 

I worked through my Spring semester and Summer vacations of that year. I learned a lot during my time about transmission engineering. This experience also proved to be critical in determining my future endeavors. When I went back to college after my first co-op term, I changed my major to Electrical Engineering from Computer Engineering. I also focused on studying power engineering in Electrical Engineering. The internet boom was at its peak in 2001. So I was considered a traditional, scared of new technology and lacking the motivation to learn new things in Electrical Engineering by my class fellows. However, the time has proved them wrong. The power industry jobs are the most stable and lasting. On the other hand, the computer related jobs are short-lived. And the trend for computers fluctuates. Since all the electronics need electricity to recharge and operate, therefore, the demand for power and power-related jobs is continuously growing. 

I would also encourage my blog readers to motivate the upcoming undergraduates to look for the opportunities during their undergrad education. This will help them to broaden their horizon. This will also help to decide better for their future path whether they are interested in pursuing their particular field for the rest of their lives.

After the Internship Interview

 I arrived about 15 minutes early for my interview. The hiring manager was in the room with another candidate. I stepped in the room at my turn. There is always some nervousness but I kept my expectations low and I tried to be myself. I thought that even if I didn’t get this opportunity, it will be worth an interview practice. The hiring manager was very cordial. He tried to make the conversation pretty casual. He mentioned a few things about himself, his family and his time with that company.  Then the formal interview started.

There is no distinction when the conversation is cordial and when it gets formal. So, be mindful of the fact that all in all, the hiring manager is judging you during that interaction with you. So even when you are cordial, don’t lose the focus but don’t go overboard too. He asked me a few questions about why I was interested in electrical engineering when I could have chosen other major or what area of specialization in electrical engineering I wanted to be in. He also inquired me about what my goals were for the future and where I wanted to see myself in next 10 to 15 years. Not surprisingly he asked me about my intentions for looking for an internship. 

Later on, I was given the opportunity to ask him any questions that I might have. I asked him a few questions like if he was happy with what he was doing after so many years and any expectations the company is looking forward from an intern. Over all, I thought these interviews were merely a getting to know session with an individual who could be a potential employee in half an hour or so time frame. Later on, he mentioned to expect to hear from him in a month’s time. One important tip to remember after the interview; do send a ‘Thank You’ email to the hiring manager for his time. This ‘Thank You’ email will go a long way for him to remember your name. I have found out from experience that this particular email makes a profound difference between you and the candidates who don’t take the time for a ‘Thank You’ note. 

After the interview, the month had passed and Thanksgiving holidays were approaching but I hadn’t heard anything. I thought maybe someone else was already selected. Nonetheless, I went ahead and called him. Again, the hiring manager was very cordial and told me that he wanted to call me earlier but due to work load didn’t get time to do so. And he asked me if I was interested in working at his company. He told me the terms and conditions and made me an offer and also mentioned that I will receive that offer in writing in next few days from him. This was surreal for me.

Preparing for an Internship Interview

Ever since I had started my second year during my undergraduate studies, the importance of an internship was grilled in our minds. We were given seminars and workshops on how the internship experience would give us real-world exposure to work place and put theory into action. How the work ethic developed during the internship would improve our personalities and more importantly how this whole experience will translate into better opportunities in the future. 

So, many of my class fellows and I actively started exploring the opportunities to work in a well-reputed firm to gain a valuable experience. As I was studying for electrical engineering degree, I was looking to work in the power industry. I think it was October of that year when I was informed that a hiring manager from a big power company would be on campus and our career services office had put my name on the list of candidates to be interviewed that day.

I think the interviews were supposed to go on for two days. I was thrilled as well as pretty nervous as it was my first one-to-one interview. I was told to get on the net and try to learn about this company and practice the interview with a friend or two and how to reply to a difficult question.

Ever heard of saying, “dress to impress”? This adage is true for a job interview. Before somebody is asked any question and even before a handshake, one can be judged with how he represents himself with dressing. Therefore, dress appropriately according to the occasion and weather.

I think one of the difficult questions to answer is when somebody asks you, “Do you have any weaknesses?” We all know that nobody is perfect. This clearly means there must be some weaknesses present in an individual. If someone says “No, I don’t have any weakness”, that is a complete lie and the hiring manager would interpret this answer that the candidate is a liar. Therefore, the candidate must be prepared to answer this question and try to put a positive spin when answering this question. Like, one can say I can’t relax until I get all the questions answered in my project. This shows the person is hard working and does not quit until all the work is done in a proper manner.

One should try to come up with a logical answer with a positive spin to it. I think another difficult question to answer is why do you want to work in this company, is it for money? I think people want to work because they want comfortable living with good finances. So the obvious answer is, yes, I want to work because I need money. But that is not the correct answer. The way to handle this question is to combine your area of interest and industry together to show your interest in working for a particular firm. I remember when the hiring manager put that question to me; I replied, “No, I want to work because I want to see how the theory in our classrooms works in the real world”. I am an electrical engineer and I am interested in seeing how the electricity business works in practical. Money is the by-product of job. But the first step is to get a job.

During an interview, a good hiring manager might give you an opportunity to ask questions from him/her as well. So be prepared to ask questions from the hiring manager. I think many candidates would love to know how much money they will be paid for this job. But this question is a ‘No No’ if you want to get yourself hired. Get yourself educated about the industry in general and company in particular for the job interview. Ask about the duties you would be performing at the company, who you might be working with, maybe work place, hours and stuff like that. This would show your interest and the inquiring mind. 

 Normally, an interview lasts half an hour or so. Before leaving the room, make sure to get a business card and also inquire about when to expect to hear from the company. 

Current situation of Electronic Media

We are living in interesting times in Pakistan. The electronic media has progressed by leaps and bounds. Few years back, hardly ten years, we only had PTV to get our official version of almost everything. And we got our details and background stories from the print media a morning after the event had already taken place. PTV being the governmental entity, it would only provide the version of the news which suited the government. Print media tried to be independent but the penalties were severe. So, it is difficult to say and I would not blame them. Everybody has their limitations.

When we talk about today, nothing is missed by these journalists. They talk about almost everything, point to all the difficult issues, and their cameras roll, rain or shine. This is very different than what we had few years back. Over these years, the journalists have also learned hard way. They made sacrifices, personal and professional. Some had even laid down their lives for truthful reporting. If I am not wrong, the number of journalists died in the line of duty in Pakistan is the highest in the world.  During last years of Musharraf’s dictatorship, some news channels were banned for a while. And some of these anchors paid a price with their jobs. 

Normally, the entertainment sector on TV is beneficial and the news channels lag behind. However, in Pakistan, our news channels are thriving big time and entertainment sector is lagging. In our prime time tv shows, the highest rating goes to all these current events’ programs. This speaks volume about the Pakistani public.  How much interest do we have with politics and how keenly the public is keeping an eye on the politicians? The way they speak and what they speak will matter in their opinions about that particular politician and the political party. Since politicians are invited in most of these current events’ programs, they also have to keep themselves abreast with the events in the country. This provides them a very valuable exposure and free publicity. So, they also have to keep themselves educated about the happenings in the country. 

Fortunately, in Pakistan, we have good number of news channels available. The channel surfing is the norm. The talk shows are pretty popular here. The anchors are quite educated and they try to present the true picture and point out to issues in the country. They invite different politicians from various political parties to present their point of view. 

Most of these news channels are available on satellite. So Pakistani immigrants living in other countries also keep a close eye on almost everything in Pakistan. Some have even mentioned that the last thing they do before going to beds is check the Pakistani news channel on satellite and the first thing is also checking Pakistani news. This facility wasn’t available few years back. 

The World Wide Web is also helping spreading the message. All these news channels have their websites and they are continuously updated. Their programs are put on the net in their entirety. So nobody misses the beat with these channels. The internet used to keep me busy over the weekends while I was out of the country and I went over any programs that I might have missed during the week.

Moving to Pakistan (2) - Part 3

From my previous posts on 'Moving to Pakistan', I hope I am not giving out a message of hate or disrespect for the U.S. I still think it is one of the best places to live in the entire world. I think in many instances, it rates much better than Pakistan. It is still the land of dreams, filled with many opportunities for the talented and the knowledgeable.

When I first landed in the U.S. in January 1999, America was flourishing like anything. The internet boom was on full swing, people were making money left and right and unemployment was lower than the average, and more importantly the U.S. debt was on decline. So the future looked pretty promising. I remember I met a guy from Bangladesh who was graduating at the end of my first semester. He had received an offer from a telecom company a couple of months ahead of his graduation. I believe his Grade Point Average (GPA) was below par but they still hired him. I also remember another Indian guy who had received multiple offers from various companies in the U.S. and they were all competing to hire him. So those were pretty good days to be in the U.S. 

During our visits to the malls or other public places along with other Pakistanis or Indians, sometimes locals had a little gossip with us about our whereabouts. And they were quite surprised to know that we were from overseas and had left our families for studies in the U.S. That was really heartening for them. They thought really big of us to sacrifice so much just for the studies. They appreciated what we were doing and encouraged us to keep doing what we were doing. They even encouraged us to stay back and work and live in the U.S. after graduation and make U.S. our home. So that was the kind of acknowledgement we got before 9/11 from the locals. Many of them would like to chat with us about our countries, families, social fabric, culture and almost every other thing they pleased. They would inquire us about comparisons between different things in the U.S. It felt so much at home while talking to them. So things were great. And surprisingly or not, not many Americans were familiar with Pakistan. Sometimes, they thought of Pakistan as India or Palestine. Some thought it was still part of India. But all in all, those were good times. 

When 9/11 happened, things changed. There were quite a few Pakistani students in the university at that time. The first few days were pretty scary. Pakistani students would not want to leave their apartments at night or alone. We would not leave our apartments without purpose during the daytime. We would not try to get into an argument with the locals. So the Pakistani students got pretty frightened and became conscious of the fact that we were foreigners in this country. This is not to say that we didn’t think of being foreigners before. But things had changed now. Before 9/11, during our visits to the mall, the locals would greet us warmly or at least would not stare at us suspiciously. After 9/11, their eyes would chase us from one end of the mall to the other in case we do something to alert them. Occasionally, they would talk to us, but in this case, trying to investigate us.  

However, the university administration tried to help us in whatever way they could. They increased the police patrol, put out instructions of being watchful and all, and had held various multicultural meetings in the university to educate the locals and us. These were beneficial for the community to understand the sensitivities on both sides. The administration tried to convey the community that every Muslim is not a terrorist, Islam is not equivalent to terrorism and restraint is the key. They also informed us not to do or say anything stupid in case someone says anything which might hurt our feelings. But I think, things were pretty tense those days. Fortunately, it did not result into anarchy.  To be continued….

Moving to Pakistan (2) - Part -2

As I had mentioned earlier in 'Moving to Pakistan (2) - Part (1)', building of relationships and network is like planting a seed in the soil. First, it spreads the roots in the ground firmly, then grows a trunk and branches and leaves and later on bears the fruits. This is long and strenuous struggle. It takes years to develop the kind of networking with the people to thrive in the society. That the society knows you from  inside out to know who you really are. And then you can enjoy and benefit from those relationships.
I think most people are aware of the fact that most foreigners live in isolated communities in the foreign countries. Muslims like to interact with Muslims socially and it further narrows down to Pakistanis interacting with Pakistanis. It is mostly true for the first generation. The second generation modifies itself as they please.

During my years of studying, we had very close friendships with the locals and many others in the town. We socialized, studied, hung out together. Our American friends even invited us to their homes. Everything was going fine until we graduated and moved. I came to Richmond, Virginia for my job. Here I had to build my friendships all over again. It was quite difficult. I couldn’t get around the idea that the relationships and networking is time and place bound. If you change a place, you have to start over.
It isn’t like that in Pakistan. For an example, Multan is called ‘City of Saints’. Meaning, from early days of Muslims in the sub-continent, Saints had lived in this city for preaching and spreading of Islam. And the biggest saint of them all is a close family member. So, to begin with, they had sewn seed of the plant back in the day. That tree had developed fully over all these so many hundred years. We are the lucky ones to enjoy the fruits of the full grown tree. No matter where we go and live in Pakistan, we don’t have to exert our energies to make new friends. We are always blessed with good friends who know our family members already. And we can enjoy the labor of our family members and we only try to keep the relationships going. And pass those on to our future generation.

So these are some of the important things to consider when one is living in the society. There is a saying in the U.S., “It is not worth what you know, however, it is worth who you know.” Anyways, I am sharing only hard facts and my experience of moving to Pakistan. I am sure someone else can come up even forceful argument of moving from Pakistan and s/he could be rightful in their opinion. My intention is not to convince someone to do what I did. Everybody has to think in their own ways and every situation is different. I don’t want people to take my word and leave what they are doing and come back to their motherland immediately. No. That is not the point. But I do hope that my blog is an interesting read and may be a point of reference and something to talk about. This is extremely huge decision of moving back. There could be so many risks involved. So, please think it through thoroughly before you take a big step like this.

Anyways, there are many more interesting pieces of information to share. So, look for the next post in the near future.